Estou a chocar alguma!

Este blog vai chocar com várias raças, religiões, regiões, bairros, sexo, credos e até com ele mesmo. O objectivo é divertir todos, perceber que as diferenças só deverão servir para nos aproximar. Quem se ofender... bem, temos pena!

segunda-feira, 4 de junho de 2007

Conduzir em angola

10 Regras/conhecimentos básicos para conduzir em Angola:


  1. As estradas principais têm 2 vias, em alcatrão com muito buraco. Ao lado é terra, lama quando chove, lixo, água, pessoas, etc. No alcatrão há engarrafamento e consequentemente uma estrada de 2 vias fica normalmente com 4, tudo bem apertadinho.

  2. Andar sempre pela esquerda e ultrapassar os camiões, que andam sempre pela esquerda, pela direita. Isto porque a polícia tem mais dificuldade parar carros que vão no meio.

  3. A questão validade das cartas angolanas em Portugal é muito debatida aqui. Foi mais uma razão para odiar os tugas. Mas compreensível aí na “tuga”. Poucos aqui têm carta e destas, muitas são recebidas em troco de ... sim, adivinharam: Gasosa! Poucos sabem conduzir.

  4. Os candongueiros (ver foto ao lado), que são os autocarros daqui, andam pela direita e estão sempre a parar para recolher ou deixar passageiros. E depois metem-se à maluca. Esta é a razão porque nós, os brancos, e os camionistas andamos pela faixa da esquerda.

  5. Sempre que vemos um polícia ligamos o limpa para brisas. Isto distrai a polícia. A primeira reacção que eles têm é olhar para o céu para verificar se está a chover. Depois começam a gozar com os brancos: “Estes pulas são mesmo burros. Vão com o limpa para brisas ligado e não está a chover. Otários!” E entretanto já passámos e não pagámos gasosa.

  6. Nunca parar numa passadeira. Se pararmos para deixar alguém uma das duas situações vai acontecer:
    a) Um carro ultrapassa-nos pela direita (lembrem-se da regra 2 – sempre pela esquerda) e mata o transeunte
    b) Um carro bate-nos por trás porque não estava à espera que alguém pare numa passadeira.

  7. Aqui não há seguros. Por isso não batam nem levem batidas de ninguém (boa regra esta, han??!)

  8. Se atropelarmos alguém, não paramos. Pelo contrário tentamos fugir pelas faixas da direita. Senão morremos.

  9. Não arrancar logo num dos 4 semáforos de Luanda, mal ficam verdes. É preciso contar até 5 porque eles depois de verem o encarnado têm 15 segundos de reacção para parar e a maior parte continua.

  10. Olhar em todos os cruzamentos que têm stop. Muitos cruzamentos têm stop em todas as vias que se vão cruzar e por isso ninguém pára (sim, lógica angolana).

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